Friday, March 28, 2014

Heaven is for Real (2014)

Heaven is for Real

Warning: the following review contains spoilers

            In 2010, Todd Burpo and Lynn Vincent released “Heaven is for Real,” a book about Burpo’s son Colton’s journey to heaven during emergency surgery. Burpo documents his son’s description of heaven and the various things he saw there, including Jesus himself. On April 16, 2014, Randall Wallace’s film adaption of Burpo’s famous book will hit the big screen.

            The very idea of making a movie about a little boy’s visit to heaven is enough to get one laughed out of Hollywood. However, when Randall Wallace—known for writing Braveheart, Pearl Harbor, and the screenplay for We Were Soldiers—sits in the director’s chair, Hollywood has no choice but to pay attention. America, however, is another story. Millions of Americans love Wallace’s movies, but most would be surprised to learn that he wrote them. Directors’ names may mean a lot to Hollywood, but most Americans don’t know Randall Wallace from William Wallace. Most people watch a movie because it looks entertaining, not because its director is famous. Entertainment is certainly present in Heaven is for Real, but if the entertainment is the gift, few will appreciate the wrapping paper. Despite what polls may say, most Americans are not true Christians, and Heaven is for Real is a very Christian, Bible-centered film—which will hurt it when it hits theaters. In today’s America, science is in and spirituality is out—most Americans will find entertainment not in the film’s humor, but in the fact that someone in Hollywood is trying to sell the idea God exists and that heaven really is for real. Potential viewers looking for that sort of entertainment can save their ticket money and browse the YouTube comments section. Identifying Heaven is for Real as a Christian movie will cause most potential viewers to spend their money on other better-promoted and more promising films like Transcendence, arriving in theaters on April 17.

            Despite the best efforts of its acclaimed director, Heaven is for Real expertly manages to disappoint in several ways. Multiple scenes include Colton Burpo entering heaven, looking upon a choir of angels, and seeing Jesus. The bad CGI featured in each of these scenes is enough to make one cringe, and the even worse edges where the computer-animated sky meets the real-life setting makes one wonder why the filmmakers even included such a poorly blended shot in the final cut at all. Bad acting is a staple of Christian films, and the makers of Heaven is for Real thought the mold was better left unbroken. Unnatural, forced dialogue ungracefully graces the film from the opening titles to the ending credits. The script isn’t exactly heavenly, either: in one scene, Burpo’s on-screen wife breaks two dishes in a fit of anger in front of the whole family and, unlike what one would expect in a Christian film, never apologizes to her husband or children. In another scene, Burpo finds out that his daughter punched a couple of boys at school for making fun of her younger brother Colton. Instead of disciplining her or at least telling her that she should not have done it, Burpo merely laughs and kisses his daughter on the head. One would expect that, especially in a Christian movie, a pastor would teach his children not to hit other children, but apparently the writers are saving that lesson for another movie. The film’s plot itself is rather jumbled, as well. Rather than a clearly defined story where characters strive toward a particular goal, Heaven is for Real better resembles a bunch of randomly picked scenes cut together and labeled a movie.

            The most grievous issue in Heaven is for Real arises late in the film. A woman is grieving by her son’s headstone and asks Burpo if he thinks the fallen Marine went to heaven. This is a perfect opportunity to answer a very important question: if someone I love dies and I do not know his or her spiritual beliefs, can I know whether he or she is in heaven? The answer to this question is, no, you cannot. If you do not know the spiritual beliefs of a deceased loved one, the only way to know whether he or she entered heaven is to go there yourself and find out. Not that the film would tell you that. Rather than offer an answer to the woman’s question, Burpo sidesteps it with a sappy emotional appeal completely devoid of substance. The film’s most theologically important moment is squandered for the sake of political correctness, and all the potential that the scene had is utterly wasted.

            As sappy as Burpo’s on-screen “answer” was, it was nothing compared to the film’s ending. Colton once more peers into heaven, but this time for no apparent reason (cue bad CGI). The quintessential hymn-singing choir fills the audible background, as though the writers had exhausted their supply of originality. And the aforementioned woman gets a fleeting glimpse of her son: a smiling, bouquet-holding, glow-in-the-dark Marine clad in his dress blues (OK, maybe that last part isn’t so bad). The sentimental final scene feels like an ending, but the overarching plot of the film is so muddled that it more resembles a synthesis of all things emotional that the editors felt would look best if placed directly prior to the ending credits.


            Heaven is for Real is emotionally touching movie—if you’ve never read the book. If you have read the book, you will spend the film wondering if the writers read the same book that you did. Plagued by poor writing, poor CGI, poor acting, and an ending cheesier than actual cheese, Heaven is for Real is a good idea gone horribly awry. Many Christians will pay to see this movie, and that is their affair; I, however, am very glad that I did not. If Heaven is for Real could be summarized with one sentence, that sentence would be this: “The book was better.”

Noah (2014)

Noah

Warning: the following review contains spoilers.

            A few short months after Kirk Cameron told students at Liberty University that no one wanted to make a movie about God destroying the world, TriStar Pictures released a movie about God destroying the world. Featuring an all-star cast and backed by a big budget, Noah is the first major motion picture to focus on the iconic biblical hero.

            While some may think Noah a “Christian film,” director Darren Aronofsky ensures that few will make such a mistake. He makes good use of the producers’ $125-million-deep pockets: most of the visual effects are excellent and cinematography is on par with that of films of similar size and budget. Money attracts, as is evidenced by the film’s acclaimed cast, which includes Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, and Anthony Hopkins—all Academy Award winners whom no Christian production studio could even dream of casting. The text from the trailer erases any remaining doubt that viewers might have about Noah’s Christianity: “The story is more than you imagined.” And Aronofsky’s story certainly is.

The story of Noah can be found in Genesis 6-9. Although the film portrays the biblical account of the great boat-builder, it is far from a perfect portrayal. If you want the unblemished biblical account of the great boat-builder, you should open your Bible, not your wallet. Noah includes much more material than is found in the biblical account. While this was the case with popular biblical movies like The Ten Commandments and The Prince of Egypt, some moviegoers that enjoyed those classics may take issue with Noah. The film references the extrabiblical Book of Enoch, drawing characters and names from the book that never made it into the Bible. Some more conservative Christian viewers might call this sacrilege; however, just because a book was rejected from the biblical canon does not mean that it does not contain truth. No one knows what parts of the Book of Enoch are true and what parts are false, so the extrabiblical information in Noah may very well be true.

            The Watchers, led by one Samyaza, are fallen angels mentioned in the Book of Enoch. Glenn Beck took issue with these “giant rock people,” as they are depicted in the film. The explanation for their abnormal appearance—given in the film—may be a bit of a stretch, but it is not a serious issue. Genesis 6:4 references “Nephilim” and “sons of God” living on the Earth in the days of Noah, so perhaps these Watchers are merely a creative take on an extremely vague biblical description. The real issue is not the Watchers’ appearance, but the assistance that they give Noah in building the ark. Despite the Bible’s lack of clarity on the time that it took Noah to build the ark, the common belief is that the ark spent about 100 years in the construction yard. Answers in Genesis says that the actual number might be as low as 75.[1] However, on the big screen, Noah had the help of the Watchers, and it took only 10 years. In Genesis 6:18b, God tells Noah that “you shall come into the ark, you, your sons, your wife, and your sons’ wives with you.” Clearly, Noah’s sons were married when God told Noah to build the ark, and, using Answers in Genesis’ low estimate of the ark’s build time, must have been almost 100 years old when the ark was finished. On screen, however, Noah’s oldest son is no more than twenty-five, with his youngest still a teenager, when the rain comes. Only Shem, the firstborn, has a wife, and Noah does not even take on any young girls to marry his younger sons in the future. Such a contradiction to the biblical text is sure to upset most Christian viewers.

            The most blatant instance of biblical ignorance, however, is a certain stowaway, an extra passenger on the ark. Tubal-Cain, the leader of the army that attempts to hijack the ark, manages to climb aboard unnoticed after his entire army is wiped out. Despite his (obvious) failure to kill Noah, his survival of the flood is a clear contradiction of Scripture that might put off even more viewers than Shem, Ham, and Japheth’s marital statuses.

            Glenn Beck went to an early screening of Noah and described the titular character as a “lunatic” who “tries to kill his own family.”  Beck is describing Noah’s plight to build a better Earth: a world without man. “Then the Lord said to Noah, ‘Go into the ark, you and all your household, for I have seen that you are righteous before me in this generation.’” Unfortunately, Russell Crowe’s Noah did not get this message. Believing that the only way to fully please God is to rid the world of humanity, Noah refuses to bring aboard wives for his younger two sons. And when Shem’s wife becomes pregnant, Noah vows to kill her child, should it be a girl who could potentially serve as a wife for one of his sons. Beck’s distress is understandable, but so are Noah’s on-screen actions. The film portrays the depravity of man rather well, and had God not told Noah that he was the one righteous man who would continue the race of Adam, his murderous intentions are completely understandable. What conclusion should he draw but that man is responsible for the utter corruption of God’s perfect Earth and that Earth could be perfect once more if man were not a part of it? This is not an excuse for Noah’s fictional sins, but merely an explanation for them.

            The most thought-provoking aspect of the film is its depiction of Noah’s drunkenness. According to Genesis 9:21, “[Noah] drank of the wine and became drunk and lay uncovered in his tent.” Most theologians attribute Noah’s drunkenness to a celebration gone too far. Aronofsky, however, takes the road less traveled: on screen, Noah drinks not to celebrate the new life that he and his family have been given, but to temporarily forget the guilt of his aforementioned murderous intentions. Although Russell Crowe’s Noah cannot curse Ham’s son Canaan, the scene is a wonderful synthesis of Hollywood and Holy Bible.

            One of my favorite scenes in Noah is not revealed in the trailer. The Christians that have expressed their distaste for Noah because of its inaccurate portrayal of the Bible are sure to love this particular scene. It is easily one of the quietest scenes in the whole film, a welcome respite from the noise and chaos of the raging floodwaters. It is the story of Creation. Aboard the ark, Noah tells his family the story of how God created the world. He paraphrases and summarizes the whole of Genesis 1, taking his family through each of the six days of Creation and telling them what happened on each day. Most Christians will greatly enjoy the scene; though some may criticize it for not directly quoting the Bible, they must remember that it was Moses, not Noah, who wrote the book of Genesis, so it would not make sense for Moses’ ancestor to quote what had not yet been written. If they can forgive the lack of direct quotation, they will be able to appreciate the fact that the story of Creation appears in the least likely of places: the big screen.

            If you are looking for an accurate, big-screen portrayal of the Bible, save your money. Noah is fraught with extrabiblical and contra-biblical occurrences, and the titular character may have some viewers in an uproar. However, Noah is still one of the only first-rate biblical films to come from Hollywood. It is an entertaining and thought-provoking work that will not please everyone who buys a ticket, but may encourage some moviegoers to open the Bible and read the story for themselves. And that is something that the vast majority of modern movies cannot claim.